simple Christmas

i wish y'all a MERRY CHRISTMAS~

i wish y'all a MERRY CHRISTMAS~

i wish y'all a MERRY CHRISTMAS~

and a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

*???*

to my camp-mate, Shawn

and Sing-Kor friend, Hansol-nee!

back to society

it's been exactly 2 weeks since i ORD and turned from NSF to NSman. and i must say it is sensational!

freedom!

haha! honestly, i do miss the days i had fun with my camp buddies, especially my bunk mates. going out together, non-stop killing hordes of zombies(Left4Dead 1 and 2). still, being a civilian, and having my PINK IC back is swwwweeeetttT~!

and the best thing is that through this 2 years, i couldn't have been who i am right now if it wasn't God who has been there for me all along.

best still, once after i ORD, a call came in from a great leader i used to serve under, Faith Goh. She asked if i was looking for a part-time job since i am outta NS, and offered me a part-time job back in Attributes Pte Ltd. WOW right?! I mean, yeah i wanna find a job after army, a reasonable Part-time pay for at least a good 1 month or so before my UNI studies start in Jan, and this came in like just days after?! What a coincident, GOD-incident!

I thought for awhile though. I had Barrister at Starbucks planning in mind weeks before my ORD, kinda interested in making good coffee for customers, plus its branding power, makes ya proud to work in it. Btw, i was a Barrister years ago working for Gloria Jeans. =)

Nevertheless, i thought that since it's something from God, i wanna honor that in gratitude and probably it was for the best. I mean i worked for Attributes before, and gotta know many of the Staff, it would be easier for me to work around things; such as my school schedules, family, church, chilling out with friends and what not.

And so, i accepted that offer and had my first 2 days - yesterday and today of work. Helped out in the logistics as a mover and stock-taker. Ironically, how very much i miss camp life with my buddies, i did the same vocation these past 2 days, just that instead of CQMS(Supply Supervisor), i am a storeman or a nicer way to put it according to SAF - Supply Assistant. LOL~!

Tiring after so long of sluggish slackness but fruitful!

Looking forward to my coming future job scopes.

Thank you, Lord!

hotcakes conversation

didn't expect it to be so much fun and enjoyable and God-encountering overnight prayer meeting!
pulled through the whole night till 3a.m. today morning, mind you, effortlessly.

i had a blast since the last overnight prayer meeting i had, probably couple of years ago.

after which, beating the 'z'-dreline kicking in us, Dave, Ade and I wisely decided to head down to Macdonald's at Raffles City to reward our stomachs instead of spending it on midnight-charging-money-eating cab home.

a sensational time of in-depth, juicy insights, openness conversation we had as we savored our breakfasts passed Sunrise. lasted 3 whole hours.

best Wednesday by far.

sweet sugar rush. (><,

sleepless night.

looking forward to tomorrow overnight zone prayer meeting at the Riverwalk.

it has been years i last did this. i hope i may pull through.

internal dispute.

sunny December, royal Christmas.
not very so for this family though or specifically just the 2 full-grown adults.

2 grown-ups playing kid's game; that's mature alright.

and i thought the cold war was history,
or the ice queen was killed in Narnia,
looks like 2012 is early this year; shifting the North and South poles to my house.

couldn't bother much either. don't have the strength and energy to melt down enormous ice-bergs.

they wanna take it out, take it out with each other, don't drag the hell out of me in.


ain't the first time either. why now then?


Lord, vindicate this please?

?

just doesn't feel right deep inside.

dear applicant...

I refer to your application for admission into the full-time Bachelor of Business (Management) programme.

I am please to inform you that YOU HAVE BEEN OFFERED a place in the 3-year programme commencing 4 January 2010...


KUDOS to Jesus!!! WOOoooooSAAAAaaa~!!!!

소녀시대

for once, they don't act kiddy or sing kiddy songs like most groups do.

Girls' Generation or in Korean, So Nyeo Shi Dae (少女時代), is a South Korean nine-member girl group formed by SM Entertainment in 2007 is one girl-power i admire.
(Quoted http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girls'_Generation)

Why so?

Not just because all of them are cute, bubbly and beautiful. Man, they can dance too!

What a name for their group too; Girls' Generation.

Young and already making big dreams come through in the entertainment and music industry. Such an inspiration for many, young and old in this generation.

I hope their music and lifestyle would continue to be of good reports and impacting many people out there who like to listen to their angelic voices and hot and groovy moves when they hit the floor as one heart-beat.

I would like to watch more of them; their music and dance.




Y'all rocking hart, girls!

revelationized.

lately, i've been looking into messages on offerings in the bible whenever i'm reading it.

Revelations of giving has been impressed into my heart since. That comes not just by reading the word of God, i got supporting knowledge from reading Phil Pringle's books too.

I guess probably because i'm sick and tired of mediocrity giving when i ought to give prosperously and out of love.

i need and want a breakthrough from God.

i'll be posting these revelations soon after i shared them in POE as i don't wanna spoil the fun in what i'll be doing. =)

thank God for them, and will continue to seek more!

you dig?!

18 working days left to O.R.D!!!!

what's that?

Oscar Romeo Delta Lima Oscar!!!!!!!!



WOOOooOoOOOOZZZZAaaaaaaa~~!!!!!!

moo(new) email.

yes.

i've gotten a new email with new address.

thanks to the sickening and annoying MSN virus spamming my contacts with unwanted messages.

anyway, just go to the gees of it. here's my new MSN and email address;


moo-poo-on-da-moon@live.com.sg


please add me in your MSN if i haven't, and update your contact list accordingly.

ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!

enough said.

i need a break. no matter big or small.

just get me out of this mundane mediocrity!



Arrrggghhhh~!

caustic battle.

each week passes senselessly,
missing out every opportunities.

need to know what my purpose is,
what contributions can be made?

couldn't voice it out,
didn't know how to either,
an agony hard to burden.

but a longing heart seeks to belong,
a thirsting soul to be quenched,
and a crying spirit hungers for fulfillment.

each day closes dark on me,
not knowing when the light would shine again.

if there isn't any progress,
it's mundane to go through the process.

correct me if i am wrong,
guide me if i am lost,
please direct me for i'm Yours.

eradicate the venomous mind,
and vindicate the evil in me.

poisoned the heart has been,
so the soul intoxicated.

purify that dying beat,
alleviate the pain.

show me Your ways,
show me Your purpose,
show me Your desires.

bitter cry so deafening,
a man in his last stand.

breaching the future.

the past was browsed,
and the present braced.

over a week of pain,
finally got some gain.

down and low i was,
facing Jericho walls.

questions after questions rattling in my mind,
answers that were always hard to find.

but after a weekend spiced in seasoning;
God's word convicts with great reasoning.

instead of indulging in daily digestions,
why not also start mediating in daily devotions.

very soon i'm sending in my application,
for my 2010 degree education.

fearing what my future would be like,
really clueless of whether it would be bright.

nevertheless, i shall not trust in man's wisdom,
but wisdom which comes from gold-made Heavenly Kingdom.

all for Heavenly Kingdom's sake,
shall no longer stupor in Sake.

tonight titled "breaching the future",
with Holy Spirit embarking into an adventure.

a las! no longer than 3 months left,
thy vow to give thou very best!

bracing the present.

continuing my previous entry, one thought came to mind.

as i was browsing through my past entries in multiply; good and bad feelings surfaced back up.

but one that impressed me the most was how i was challenged as a person, by one whom i used to work with in church, in the same ministry. Unfortunately, is now away from God. The one whom I loved to communicate with, make fun of each other with, constantly challenging each other intellectually.


really miss those days.


loved her wits.


my point is i wish i may find another person whom my life would be challenged, constantly, to be a better person, a better man. whom i may share my joy and pain with, whom we may make fun of each other with, whom may go through thick and thin with.

i guess time has changed many; the way we think, say, do, perceive, judge, decide, our circumstances, our future, present or even our past. And most of the time, we, or i've changed so much, i hardly even recognize myself anymore.

still. i thank God for the now. for everything that was or has already passed, all is done on purpose of God.


i just wanna speak out my heart. how much i long to love and be loved.

i'm not satisfied, God.

i want more from You.

lead me to my destiny You've placed before me.

for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake.

i pray.

browsing the past.

in my multiply, where i used to blog in, i came back across this entry about life and i wanna post it here in Blogspot. pardon me for the amateur work, but i kinda like it the second time i read again. so here it is, enjoy:


Life is a rollercoaster; often alterating like a twister.

Sometimes it goes up, sometimes down,

much of it goes round and round.

When it's good; drills in a spiral.

When it's bad; dives like a dare-devil.



Often, i dream of the better; but it always turn out a batter.

Don't wish to be a naive fool; indulging in a fantasy of poo.

Life's ain't a bed of roses; only filled with sparking thorns.



However, adhering one's mind to negativism is but a dying pessimist;

so lets balance up and be a living optimist.

"A time to weep, And a time to laugh", there is a season to everything;

the Word of God tells.



Knowing going through the journey, refines the spirit;

than to reach your destination, being define a halfwit.

God is good, all the time;

all you need to do, is to be good to hear His word.



So renew your mind, and start here onward.

weather or not.

it's getting harder to breathe nowadays.

be it work,

education,

family,

friends,

church,

relationships,

or

self.

it's all fading white,
moments of flashing sight.

pupil dilates,
ear-drums dynamics.

like Goliath fell onto the ground,
forehead spinning ever around.

last shutters of eyelids,
low pitch call-outs echoed in.

then

by the drop of the curtains,
would it be a new term or a U-turn?


that will depend all in the will...wouldn't it?

98% decided.

yeap. finally i've made up my decision. in fact, i have made contingency plans to it too.

after today's visit to SIM Open house, i've fully clarified my inquiries to the course of my pursue for degree certification - i'll apply into RMIT University.

why then my title, you ask?

the leftover 2% is due to the fact that my GCE 'O' Level English grade was D7, and the minimum requirement for entry is at least a pass(C6). However, it's still up to the Academic Council to decide if they would like to offer me that opportunity to study in that course.

pray hard that i may be offered.

Alternatively, if not successful, i'll apply for UOL this coming January, 2010 then. Again, the minimum requirements still stand for application in UOL. BUT! If offered, they would to advise me to take an external recognized english certification program first to eligible me to enroll; i would buy me a good 1 or 2 months before UOL intake starts in next August.

Moreover, i can work full-time while waiting to enlist to UOL too.

God is good.

Nevertheless, i do pray that RMIT would still accept me based on my other 'O' Level subjects and my diploma, though of different course.

Wait on. =)


Praise God!

disappointed.

just wanna find a good seaside view where i can scream at the top of my voice.

apart from feeling uneasy and awkward inside, yesterday's ATP Shoot for my second year of NS ended terribly regretful and disappointed.

out of 34 bullet rounds, i left just a shot to earn my marksmanship WITH monetary reward of $200 of 29 rounds. so i praised God for His grace to keep me in alertness in the day shoot which cost me to lose 3 shots only. But, after which in the night shoot, i can afford to lose 4 shots in total of 12 rounds. Unfortunately, one hand due to the LED light not tightly secured, cause my rifle to lose it's zero-ing point, the other was that i rushed triggering the rounds when i had more than enough seconds to shoot down the target.

ONE SHOT! just ONE MORE SHOT! wasted my time to seek Medical Officer for certification to rundown so as to earn $200 if i obtain marksmanship. Not only did i not earn that monetary reward, i didn't even earn my marksmanship badge!!!!

ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *scream infinity*

on another subject. just tonight after cell group, i felt uneasy; wasn't my usual self. probably i am tired, still i was too quiet and my mind kept rattling with thoughts. don't tell me Nash's syndrome is back.

screw all da!

tomorrow's SIM open house. just wanna concentrate on my decision to which course and University i wanna do my degree education awarded under.

TGIF. not. TGIW (Thank God It's Weekend). YES!

Ex Wallaby; Ex ORD!

wahahhahahahah!!! Wootz wootz!!! Praise GOd!!!!


it has been confirmed.

i'm not in the list.

i need not go through the hassle to bleach clean my belongings for inspection.

i'm going to handover smoothly and ORD without complications.


i'd have to go overseas Ex Wallaby, no more!

95% applying, 5% course-recking.

ahhh!! course is the only hinder left to my application to getting my degree education man.

and just after today's service. arise and build is around the corner this end of the year again. needless to say, i need to find a job to pay my pledges for building fund.

that kinda rack that already battered mind; studying full-time, work part-time in between non-schooling days. Then again, since i've yet to decide which course i would like to take, i may consider one of the courses that which starts only in next July, which would give me a good 7-8 months of full-time paid job and experience.

vexing indeed. need God's leading, man.

welcome to adulthood. lol.

heart amplified.

with God.

everything's alright.




who are You, Lord?

just so You know i still feel.

Yesterday's service has really impacted me, kinda rekindle that lost flame that once blazed in my heart.

i've always believed that God is real, or at least a Higher being over-looking every individual lives, so to speak.

Or maybe to some, i'm just being religious or 'more into the spirituality'.

What ever it may be said of, i know that this small little box in my heart that was once empty has been filled with a presence; nothing in this world, living or non-living can fill. That is true enough for me to believe that this Higher being is evident and living - none other than a Spirit, Holy and Pure, named God.

'What say you?' isn't my focus in this entry.

Rather i feel Ari (Indonesian celebrity), what he testified of his life. Called a Christian, attending church in the weekend, but still continue to sin in the weekdays wasted with alcohol and drugs. That story mirrored my life, in some areas.

i need to go back to where i once was called. But not literally to where or what i used to be or do. i hated that. i left because of that.

i need a fresh walk of life. a fresh beginning. as though one who knew not this God, this Higher being but is curious and hungers for understanding of it.


i've questioned myself. unbelief.

i've weighed the odds. burdened.

i've brood over the past. hurting.

i've reminisced. indulgence.

i've even doubted. failures.

but

i want to try again.
i want to go back to Him.
to say very much i'm sorry...



*smiles*
where's my firm stand i used to have?
here i am, being what i used to be; emo-ing again.

Debut - What Say You? Episode #1: Fashion Immorality

this came back with me after shopping along Orchard Road.

Woman is a gift from God. Some are eye-candy to many, not just men but to women too. Some are, to put in a polite way, not so eye-candy at all. Still, every one of them is beautiful individually.

Unfortunately, the downfall of man caused sin to enter into this world; resulting to immorality of man ranging from being lustful to inhuman act of rape.

Question is:

- is it their natural, beautiful physique that triggers the minds of men and women?
- is it their great sense of fashion or just plain fashion flaw that reveals what is not intended?
- OR is it just the minds of the 'eye-balling'?

Speak your mind, freely and openly.


What say you?

90% sure.

my my my!

it's been decades, centuries, eons, lightyears, i've last entered my blog man!
nevertheless, here i am to update - short and sweet.

i've decided to further my studies in SIM University.

January 2010 intakes are opened for application.
Problems are.
#1: I've not decided which course i want or eligible to apply.
#2: There's SIM Global and UniSIM programmes; interesting thing is, there are of total different worlds.

Good side of it all, my loving parents are willing to support me financially, completely.

It is my chance and the most critical and crucial phase of my life.
I ain't gonna miss or screw this up.


Lord, lead me.


Please.

updates #1

my Internet is down. sadly. as my Pop ain't going to continue with the existing plan. so me being online will drastically lessen.

hoping he finds a good and reasonable new plan from whichever service provider and get us all back online real quick!

therefore, blogging would be hindered.

this entry is made in camp after office hours.

will keep y'all readers updated as the update number increases.



end it with a high note;

wait for me. i'm collecting my courage and creative ideas to invest on you. =)

present.

leading a more blithesome life.

striving.

life's a bliss!

inspired.

i've came to learnt that my paternal cousin or whom i call her ah girl, Kamelia is a school bowler. 'eat potatoe' (hokkien; westernized) and primary 6, she is representing her school in bowling competitions and has made quite a number of achievements and brought home trophies.

why 'eat potatoe'? She's a 'Saint-Margaret'. And that makes me a 'Saint-Morgan', corny of me to tease her with.

Apart from that, she's young, beautiful, smart and full of potential. Thanks to my 'Ku-ku' (Aunt) Kathryn, who has always been there and supporting her in the background.

Just last Sunday, after a family-relative lunch buffet at United Square, i joined ah girl for her bowling practice at EHub! Downtown East. Upon arrival and ready to start the ball rolling, ah girl and her parents found out that her bowling gears weren't there. Where then? It was left at Yishun SAFRA, the last time ah girl had her practice there. Funny thing was that Uncle left it by Aunt's Grandis, thinking that Aunt would load the gears up before leaving the place. Which of course, she didn't. Oh well, we started the game without ah girl.

I must say, the bowling alley is awesome though, i sucked that day. Losing my 'form'.
Fortunately, Uncle found ah girl's gears at the Yishun SAFRA's customer counter Lost & Found. That would miraculously saved my Aunt almost another $500 to get new ones for ah girl.

And so her gears arrived, unpacked her bowling balls - hook and straight (which i just learnt), amazing indeed, pasted and lubricated her fingers to prevent piles from growing, did a couple of warm-up exercises, blew her fingers over the cooling fan, grabbed her hook ball, positioned herself, and there she went. A beautiful and smooth curve, CRASH! My cousins, MF, and I had our jaws dropped in awe as we watched ah girl struck her first STRIKE gracefully and effortlessly!

Indeed a professional, humble and subtle, she got back behind the line focusing on her next attempt while waiting for her bowl to wheel back. Again she picked up her hook ball, and gracefully walked down the lane and rolled her ball and yet again a flawless finish...

the whole time as i watched her practise, she inspired me with her passion in wanting to get her technics and skills right, always aiming for perfection and excellence. That inspiration got me fired up to want to learn new stuff too. I thought of Archery and Air-Rifle.

Having said all, my point is just that, it's a good thing to start something great when you're young like ah girl, who btw, after her PSLE, pursuing in her secondary education, Aunt has ideas of enrolling her into Singapore Sports school to maximize her potential in bowling.

It's also never too late for anyone to pick up new things to do, learn or continue to seek what one's passion is in.

ain't life a bliss... =)

-

what a sucky saturday.

can't blame it either. wasted the whole week of block leaves. it's stupid of the company to even force us to clear leaves just so that we won't clear a full 14 days of leaves nearing to our ORD.

what happens if we need to take urgent leaves and we do not have leaves left to clear? utter stupidity!

back on track, today is really a sucky one.

miscommunications or not. the least is to confirm and double confirm timing for meetings, appointments or what not. worst still, not able to be contacted and left your friend hanging. all is good. forgive and forget. not the first neither will it be the last. friends are friends afterall. geez.

man. can't stand it. i need a break. a serious, fun, enjoyable one.

left 2 more days to next book-in. hard to go back to all load of bull-.

grandma Too.

Home sweet home for Michell back to The Philippines.
Beloved grandma housing in my home.

Ever since the departures of both my late grandpa and Michell, a 2-room Ho Ching HDB flat is left occupied by grandma. alone and still trying to adapt to the speedy change, grandma is ever welcomed to stay over at ours; Aunt Kathryn's (Eden Grove @ Bartley Rd) and mine (Jurong West St 81). A busy house-keeper back in her own unit by day and our beloved queen dowager by night.

i really love the idea she's keeping the 2-room HDB flat unit and sleeping over at ours whenever she wishes to; gives her the chance to travel around Singapore sight-seeing, and making her grandmotherly duties in our homes bringing warmth and wisdom with her presence. Not to mention, i can crash at her place whenever i am down and don't wish to go home. One stone kills three birds. Besides, she can finally put off the burden and duties she has been carrying in taking care for my late grandpa who had been bedridden since his operation for a heart-attacked he suffered 8 years ago. If ever a man would count his blessings, it would be my late grandpa - how faithful and loving my grandma has been to be there for him for so long a period of time, day and night, late-nights!

grandma and i would many time sit by her dining table chatting over her experiences, the past, our family, over drinks for hours. It never bore me to listen to her. In fact, it got me to have a deeper understanding of my family history and background.

i am truely blessed and proud to be their grandson, to be a part of the TOO family.

you know, i kinda think that the death of my grandpa is all God's timing, and yet it's my grandpa's work in bringing the TOOs closer together. Not listing other blessings in disguise my grandpa got under his retro flowery-designed sleeves. I know he is interceding in prayers for us all up there somewhere in his glorious mansion Jesus got for him. That explains why he didn't even speak to us in our dreams for days since his death, which kinda annoys me a little. I mean, doesn't he has anything to say to us? Not even to his beloved wife?

Having said, he's definitely looking out for us all, i'm sure.

Well, all is good. so is God. I'm just delighted grandma is sleeping over at our place, and that we can mingle with her even closer.

To end this entry with a high note - the 5km run in this late-night was great.

I deserve a good rest now...

vanity

drowning.
deeper and deeper.
darker and darker.


untouched.
unloved.
unheard.


losing all sanity.
hurt.
abandoned.
lonely.


like a falling glass.
shattered.
soundless.


like a crashing car.
devastated.
motionless.


bleeding inside out.
aging.
ashes blown away.
faded unknown.


never was in existence.
not in this world.
not in this universe.
not even in the mind of God...

new opportunity?

all of the sudden,
words from my dearest friends.

could it really be a new opportunity?
or just another misjudged observation?

just a little more assurance,
just a little more time.

wait for me.

15th MAY - the Man of Too.

a faithful husband.

a loving father.

a wise elder.

a handsome man.



a last goodbye to him,

a man who had brought up great sons and daugthers.

a man who had enlightened us with his wisdom.



such is a man who deserves a million praises.

such is a man who has left a legacy to the Too family.



he is my late grandfather who is deeply missed and loved.

i know his spirit is with our Lord Jesus.

but his memories will be imprinted into our hearts;

the way he looks at his grandchildren,

the way he smiles,

the voice when he speaks,

his loving touch,

his fatherly presence,

for all the times he had been there for us,

all of him will always be fondly reminisced.



with great honor and reverance;

i salute you. my grandpa.

i am missing you already,

and will always...




rest in peace.

baby; miracle of God.

people say; at the sight of a baby, the most chaotic event slows down and subsides.

that is always so whenever i see bb Caleb.

grandpa Too.

day by day, weaker and weaker.
each moment i see those frowns on his frail skiny face;
my heart shatters.

as much as i could, a smile greets him 'it's ok'.
nothing can be closer than the truth;
the fact his health is deteriorating.

thank God for the best medical prescriptions; the best doctors,
but it's just a matter of time;
the doctor predicts.

not giving up hope;
standing by my grandma and family,
i for one will not fret.

'it's ok, grandpa!'
here's your eldest grandson,
cheering you on!

never will i want to sent you off,
not yet, never this time.
not till you see me tie the knot.

'hang on, grandpa!'
i ain't giving up hope;
so neither should you!

we're all here for you...

seconds to paroxysm

i hate myself to see my loved ones suffering and yet unable to do anything about it; helpless.


hope is the only thing i look to.


every time i see my grandpa, lying weak and motionlessly on the hospital bed, looking at me whenever i visit him; only breaks my heart even deeper. i really feel helpless. he hardly can speak nor move. contracted pueumonia. swollen hands. and i wish i heard wrongly and God-forbids, he's seeing the otherside but unable to walk through it?!


DARN IT!!! HELPLESS!!!


besides my frail grandpa, my parents are having a cold war with each other. my dad has the idea to file a divorce?! what on earth is going on?!!!!!


and then came another letter from Traffic Police for an offence i didn't even do, which costs me 120 bucks and 3 demerit points?!!!!!!!


what the f*** is going on?!!!!!!!


all i went was a week of out-field and all the shit is piling up my face?!!!!


is it not enough my work is screwed up and now i need to face a turbulent home and unjustful law?!



f*** this world!!!

f*** satan!!!

signs of ageing

Sasha died on me last morning at about 1am.
it all happened just distanced from my home.

at a cross junction turning right, she suddenly stopped breathing and laid quietly in the lane.

it all brings back a couple of weeks ago. unusual signs appeared on her which caught my attention;
symptoms like dim lights, wrong readings of speed on speedometer, etc.

eventually, after weeks, she dropped dead because of a failing alternator.

dad was furious, needless to say, yet he's worried and concerned too. he still came to my rescue.
Sasha got cardiac jump-start thrice to safely parked into a lot.

after work yesterday, loving dad got an extra accumulator and had Sasha undergo transplant enough energy to got her to workshop for servicing.

thank God. Sasha's back.
got a new accumulator and had her alternator fixed. she's not only kicking back up, she's shining brighter than before!

got new stuff for her too. =)

prejudice act.

fluffy clouds shadowing the vast blue skies,
as morning breeze cools my skin.
in an abandoned built-up village sitting in a corner by a table,
here i am writing randomly,
as a deafening power-up generator pedalling in the background.


it's 8.43am, a night had passed since my coy landed on p.tekong,
didn't have a peaceful rest the night before,
'cos my mind was rattling with thoughts;
thoughts that tell me this could be my chance & this could be it.


a time it seems to repeat every year,
which went through many tears.
i'm gonna miss my friends whom once were close,
but i don't wanna hurt them so i must go.


it all seems perfectly fine,
though it is definitely not right.
nevertheless, it has lessen the stress,
no more am i in distress.


i love YOU but i couldn't move on anymore.
the road ends here.
for now.
i'm truely sorry,
will YOU please forgive me.

心跳 - 王力宏

heart.beat - wang lee hom
心跳
Heartbeat

想跟我吵架 我没那麽无聊
You want to argue with me. I’m not that bored.
不懂得道歉 我没那麽聪明
I don't understand how to apologize. I’m not that bright.
好想要回到我们的原点
I really want to go back to where we started from.

你又在哭泣 我给不了安慰
You are crying again. I can't comfort you.
我又在摇头 有那麽点後悔
I’m shaking my head again disapproving of my actions. There’s only that much regret.
爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走
Love’s development is already hard to turn back, but I’m unable to go forward.

但身不由己出现在胸口 两颗心能塞几个问号
My feelings surge and take over. How many problems can two hearts contain?
爱让我们流多少眼泪
How many tears did love make us shed?

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
Your eyes are brimming with beauty to carry away my heartbeat.

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
In this way, your tenderness draws closer to take away my heartbeat.
逆转时光到一开始 能不能给一秒
Time has turned back to a beginning. Can you give me a moment?

等着哪一天你也想起
I’m waiting for whatever day when you will also remember
那悬在记忆中的美好
That happiness hovering in your memories.

debilitated.

still.

have to.

live on.

friends; changes.

thank God for friends;
friends for their concern,
who have asked of my well-being.

i just wanna say i'm still alive.

Thank you.

There is some things along your life;
the situations you're put in,
the circumstanes you face;
they cause changes.
To adapt to those changes,
i guess you have to change yourself first.

That is why you're seeing the me i am, right now.

Meantime, take good care of yourselves too.

my friends.

conflicts at work

a colleague of mine once brought up an issue concerning me during a confrontation with him;

he mentioned that he had a hard time working with me because i put a silent, long face when pressured by work.

truth to be told, those were times when a task is given from the top to make things done in the given timing. i was FOCUSING on that task and getting it done.

a few questions i would like to post to that colleague of mine;

1) Do you know me that well to judge me?

2) Have i shouted or yelled at you to get things done?

3) Given if the person you're working with is Officer-in-Command (OC) Sir, and he has that same reaction, would you confront him with that tone of yours too?

i beg to differ.

great to hear that you can see through people or what not. but use that talent of yours on someone else. cause i doubt you've seen through me.

friends are friends; yet there is still a line drawn in between. know where you stand.

and please. for the love of God.

i ain't your chauffeur, i am not obliged to drive you anywhere, don't throw me that tone of yours to say you will chip-in money for my car petrol; and stretched that 2 bucks out at my face!

i ain't no taxi-driver either.

sasha's mine!

yeap!

title speaks for itself.

Sasha is officially under my care.

btw, i shall name my dad's coy van(Fiat Dublo); Xiao Ying.

Because my dad got it painted silver in color, changed from his initial color in mind; dark grey.

Which probably, i would have called it 'Xiao Huei', but i guess 'Xiao Ying' sounds a lot 'happier' than 'Xiao Huei'.

alright. whoever wanna ride along. i have one small little favor though.

as my allowance isn't that high, and i'm fully taking care of Sasha single-handedly;

chip-ins is greatly appreciated for her 'food'; petrol.

thank you!

LOL! off back to camp lo! Vroooom vroooommmmm~

colbie caillat's realize

Realize
by
Colbie Caillat

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by

But I can't spell it out for you,
No its never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other but.

It's not the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it to.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realize what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized

Oh

Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now

Realize
Realize
Realize

i, inside.

losing myself;

losing all sanity.

what is truely right?

what is truely wrong?

it may be right to many;

many may still think it's wrong.

so what's the point of arguing;

just let it go and done for.

if being right does more wrong;

than wrong but does more right.

be the latter then;

it would make more a difference in someone else's life.

why hold back then?

let's go.

go!

a word itself is dead,

words written with thoughts bring across a message.

a message encrypted with emotions,

not fully ciphered brings out a dreadful outcome.

words are powerful,

they are riddles when not comprehended.

yet such phenomenal brings understanding and great knowledge,

Socrates questioned throughout his life.

in a world free to express,

an author simply writes.

show me how.

i came across a couple of blog entries that caught my attention.

i feel that i've lost something inside.

something that which once was close.

a sense of belonging.

joy, happiness, love.

i miss the good old times.

however, i've moved on. and it's about time that i realise it and start acting on it.

it'll be hard and long process.

but that's when new relationships are built.

new joy, new happiness, new love.

the old can only be but memories in one's soul.

after that short gathering yesterday, i began to realise that unity and love is lacking in this new cg.

perhaps everyone is still adjusting to the change?

perhaps everyone is still learning about one another?

whatever it may be.

we're all in this together.

change is inevitable.

problems are evitable and can be overcame.

in one accord. in power. with love. with God.

it hurts indeed to know the truth.

and it will hurt more if not doing anything about it.

let go the baggages. start afresh. walk on forward.

i'm sorry.

23:59:59

last second, last breath.

one night, new day.

silent death. cold breeze.

cuts through the redish flesh that leads to the dry bones.

endless thoughts, futile rest.

breach of the gates, piercing heart.

white and black.

spiral and ripples.

limitless control of emotions.

blackouts after blackouts.

00:00:00

00:00:01

v.day : 7.56mm shot down.

Was quite excited to play along with the surprise the guys and i had plot out for Valentine's day. That we (man) would be assigned to a lady in our cg, after drawing lots, and give at least a simple gesture of our manly love with a stalk of roses. But of course, each man were given the full freedom to add on to the list, if they wished to.

However, news of me being called up for ration collection for my Specialist Commanders on Sunday, as they'll be shooting GPMG (General Purpose Machine Gun) with live rounds in their Bronco Driving Course.

Initially, it was a call to stand by, and i wished i'll be called off. But i was wrong.

Long story short, instead of soaking in the bitter juice, i decided to accept it in a more positive way. Indeed, it was an experience one would hardly had the chance, besides my company who were at the live-firing ground; an armour unit with our own Singapore's Bionix were there too, to live free-off.

I regretted not bringing my ear-plugs. lol.

Well, back to the point, I missed my V.day, which probably if there were more than enough roses to be given to each lady in my cg, i would have given mine to a girl in church. lol.

It's about time i stood out from the safety zone and risk to venture out.

Afterall, i celebrated my v.day 'Bromantically' with the boys(spec commanders). 

Gay. i know. blame it on the training program to have set the live-firing on a considering beautiful Sunday, which turned into a pretty good deafening experience.

Then again, it's alot better than just spending v.day playing dota at home. lol. (sorry QM sir)

creativity chase back.

has been inspired by many things of the creativity lately.

that over time, turned into a harsh repel.

punching me with a rattling question in my mind and soul;

where is my creativity? when was the last time i create?

time flies, one too many changes.

but that shouldn't be my reproach.

i want to fight out my resolve.

find back my true me.

chasing back once lost.

creativity reborn.

牛年快樂

What a wonderful Chinese New Year it has been for me.

Though in my previous entry, i've mentioned that i wasn't excited about this year's CNY relative visitations, i was truely feeling that way. However, that boredom immediately overcame by the warmth and creativity of my uncles, who went the miles to prepare a whole new 'Ang Bao's giving experience.

What 2 of my uncles did were that each made their own Pick-and-Match 'Ang Bao' Draw instead of just the same old every year giving out 'Ang Bao's to nephews and nieces. And the best part was Adults or anyone older than them may participate but with a cost of $5/chance.  One was, you pick any card with a number written on it and match it to the 'Ang Bao' with that number and the prizes ranging from min. $4 w TOTO/4D/Big Sweep Pre-bought (by my uncle) tickets to grand prize of $150 dollars! The other was, a dip for 'Ang Bao's with a slip of chinese blessing words in it, i.e. 恭喜发财, match it with the 'Ang Baos' with the same '恭喜发财' and prizes ranging from the same as the previous one, but to a larger sum of $188!

But of course, every draw has its possibilities calculated, and in total i took all $4 w TOTO and 4D tickets. Nevertheless, the chances of getting $2000/$600,000 for 4D/TOTO is still better than getting $150/$188.

And all those made this 2009 CNY a whole lot livelier than any past CNY gatherings, hands down. Kudos to my uncles with their creativity and warm gestures.

Another good news is, as many have already been shared with, my dad will be getting a new van from his company, FIAT DUBLIO. If the color is confirmed to be Red, it shall be named, 小紅. The best point is! We'll be keeping Sasha (current using Toyota Corolla automobile)! AND AND! it'll be fully under my ownership and care!! PRAISE THE LORD!

Dad has decided to convert Sasha to weekend car (red licenced plate) sometime in May, which means i may still drive anytime 24/7 if i want to till then. To camp, to friend's house, church, home...

Nevertheless, i thought every weekend including Friday nights, i would exchange Sasha and drive 小紅 to cell and service on Sat as 小紅 'drinks' diesel, which is a 'million' cheaper and more space to fetch people in...

Then today (280109) my boss (OC) gave company a free half day off. So i took this opportunity to clear my 1/2 day off. Thus, supposely booking in tonight 2300hrs, i'll book in tomorrow, Thursday afteroon before 1200hrs!

So it was an oportunity to go 小Na's house to 拜年. 8 of us were present for the CNY party; Darren, Jo w Iggy, 小Fang, 小Hui, Gab, Yours truely and the host herself, 小Na.

We had a blast man! KFC meals, 'Luo Yu Sham' and the heart-pounding 'TRUE or DARE' game. Will load pictures and videos up into Facebook and my multiply (alternativejr.multiply.com). So stay tune.

Last but not the least, i still got lotza 'Ang Bao' money though the global economic crisis. True enough, it was lower than any years before, i wasn't that concern with it. In fact, getting 'Ang Bao's from my relatives or not, it doesn't matter much. I guess i wanted just the break and joy which would bring happiness than just monetary gains.

Nonetheless, i still wanna praise God for all the 'Ang Bao' money i got.

Therefore, a new year has started, CNY celebration has passed 3 days and going into the 4th out of 15 days, according to tradition believes, this year has been one of the best years by far and will be going back to work. Will strive to live an excellent attitude toward work and things i do.

Till the next entry. Once again...

Wishing all a prosperous, God-blessed and fruitful Moo(New) Year 2009!

Thank you,  Jesus for everything!

moo(new) year

wanna restart blogging this chinese new year. but why blogspot, you ask?

may sound silly, i have a tough time blogging in multiply using my desktop. hence, this change of type of blog.

nevertheless, this blog would just use for my chronicles, and i'll still keep mulitply for photos, songs, and videos.

so that's side track. this new year of the ox, didn't really feeling excited about it afterall, knowing now it's the first day, and hours later, i'll wake up to prepare to go my relative house to 'bai nian'. i guess the reason is because of my grandpa and every year it's just about the same. getting lotza 'hong baos' is a very delightful thing. lol. but it's quite boring to go through the day after getting them. i hope my friends have ideas to meet up and have fun.

nonetheless, my cousin, Franster is back from Taiwan for this festive season, and i'm looking forward to meet him!

ok la. i'll blog till here. will try to keep up my lifestyle in blogging as regularly as possible.

Wishing all a prosperous & God-blessed moo year!