grandpa Too.

day by day, weaker and weaker.
each moment i see those frowns on his frail skiny face;
my heart shatters.

as much as i could, a smile greets him 'it's ok'.
nothing can be closer than the truth;
the fact his health is deteriorating.

thank God for the best medical prescriptions; the best doctors,
but it's just a matter of time;
the doctor predicts.

not giving up hope;
standing by my grandma and family,
i for one will not fret.

'it's ok, grandpa!'
here's your eldest grandson,
cheering you on!

never will i want to sent you off,
not yet, never this time.
not till you see me tie the knot.

'hang on, grandpa!'
i ain't giving up hope;
so neither should you!

we're all here for you...

seconds to paroxysm

i hate myself to see my loved ones suffering and yet unable to do anything about it; helpless.


hope is the only thing i look to.


every time i see my grandpa, lying weak and motionlessly on the hospital bed, looking at me whenever i visit him; only breaks my heart even deeper. i really feel helpless. he hardly can speak nor move. contracted pueumonia. swollen hands. and i wish i heard wrongly and God-forbids, he's seeing the otherside but unable to walk through it?!


DARN IT!!! HELPLESS!!!


besides my frail grandpa, my parents are having a cold war with each other. my dad has the idea to file a divorce?! what on earth is going on?!!!!!


and then came another letter from Traffic Police for an offence i didn't even do, which costs me 120 bucks and 3 demerit points?!!!!!!!


what the f*** is going on?!!!!!!!


all i went was a week of out-field and all the shit is piling up my face?!!!!


is it not enough my work is screwed up and now i need to face a turbulent home and unjustful law?!



f*** this world!!!

f*** satan!!!

signs of ageing

Sasha died on me last morning at about 1am.
it all happened just distanced from my home.

at a cross junction turning right, she suddenly stopped breathing and laid quietly in the lane.

it all brings back a couple of weeks ago. unusual signs appeared on her which caught my attention;
symptoms like dim lights, wrong readings of speed on speedometer, etc.

eventually, after weeks, she dropped dead because of a failing alternator.

dad was furious, needless to say, yet he's worried and concerned too. he still came to my rescue.
Sasha got cardiac jump-start thrice to safely parked into a lot.

after work yesterday, loving dad got an extra accumulator and had Sasha undergo transplant enough energy to got her to workshop for servicing.

thank God. Sasha's back.
got a new accumulator and had her alternator fixed. she's not only kicking back up, she's shining brighter than before!

got new stuff for her too. =)

prejudice act.

fluffy clouds shadowing the vast blue skies,
as morning breeze cools my skin.
in an abandoned built-up village sitting in a corner by a table,
here i am writing randomly,
as a deafening power-up generator pedalling in the background.


it's 8.43am, a night had passed since my coy landed on p.tekong,
didn't have a peaceful rest the night before,
'cos my mind was rattling with thoughts;
thoughts that tell me this could be my chance & this could be it.


a time it seems to repeat every year,
which went through many tears.
i'm gonna miss my friends whom once were close,
but i don't wanna hurt them so i must go.


it all seems perfectly fine,
though it is definitely not right.
nevertheless, it has lessen the stress,
no more am i in distress.


i love YOU but i couldn't move on anymore.
the road ends here.
for now.
i'm truely sorry,
will YOU please forgive me.