enough said.

i need a break. no matter big or small.

just get me out of this mundane mediocrity!



Arrrggghhhh~!

caustic battle.

each week passes senselessly,
missing out every opportunities.

need to know what my purpose is,
what contributions can be made?

couldn't voice it out,
didn't know how to either,
an agony hard to burden.

but a longing heart seeks to belong,
a thirsting soul to be quenched,
and a crying spirit hungers for fulfillment.

each day closes dark on me,
not knowing when the light would shine again.

if there isn't any progress,
it's mundane to go through the process.

correct me if i am wrong,
guide me if i am lost,
please direct me for i'm Yours.

eradicate the venomous mind,
and vindicate the evil in me.

poisoned the heart has been,
so the soul intoxicated.

purify that dying beat,
alleviate the pain.

show me Your ways,
show me Your purpose,
show me Your desires.

bitter cry so deafening,
a man in his last stand.

breaching the future.

the past was browsed,
and the present braced.

over a week of pain,
finally got some gain.

down and low i was,
facing Jericho walls.

questions after questions rattling in my mind,
answers that were always hard to find.

but after a weekend spiced in seasoning;
God's word convicts with great reasoning.

instead of indulging in daily digestions,
why not also start mediating in daily devotions.

very soon i'm sending in my application,
for my 2010 degree education.

fearing what my future would be like,
really clueless of whether it would be bright.

nevertheless, i shall not trust in man's wisdom,
but wisdom which comes from gold-made Heavenly Kingdom.

all for Heavenly Kingdom's sake,
shall no longer stupor in Sake.

tonight titled "breaching the future",
with Holy Spirit embarking into an adventure.

a las! no longer than 3 months left,
thy vow to give thou very best!

bracing the present.

continuing my previous entry, one thought came to mind.

as i was browsing through my past entries in multiply; good and bad feelings surfaced back up.

but one that impressed me the most was how i was challenged as a person, by one whom i used to work with in church, in the same ministry. Unfortunately, is now away from God. The one whom I loved to communicate with, make fun of each other with, constantly challenging each other intellectually.


really miss those days.


loved her wits.


my point is i wish i may find another person whom my life would be challenged, constantly, to be a better person, a better man. whom i may share my joy and pain with, whom we may make fun of each other with, whom may go through thick and thin with.

i guess time has changed many; the way we think, say, do, perceive, judge, decide, our circumstances, our future, present or even our past. And most of the time, we, or i've changed so much, i hardly even recognize myself anymore.

still. i thank God for the now. for everything that was or has already passed, all is done on purpose of God.


i just wanna speak out my heart. how much i long to love and be loved.

i'm not satisfied, God.

i want more from You.

lead me to my destiny You've placed before me.

for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake.

i pray.

browsing the past.

in my multiply, where i used to blog in, i came back across this entry about life and i wanna post it here in Blogspot. pardon me for the amateur work, but i kinda like it the second time i read again. so here it is, enjoy:


Life is a rollercoaster; often alterating like a twister.

Sometimes it goes up, sometimes down,

much of it goes round and round.

When it's good; drills in a spiral.

When it's bad; dives like a dare-devil.



Often, i dream of the better; but it always turn out a batter.

Don't wish to be a naive fool; indulging in a fantasy of poo.

Life's ain't a bed of roses; only filled with sparking thorns.



However, adhering one's mind to negativism is but a dying pessimist;

so lets balance up and be a living optimist.

"A time to weep, And a time to laugh", there is a season to everything;

the Word of God tells.



Knowing going through the journey, refines the spirit;

than to reach your destination, being define a halfwit.

God is good, all the time;

all you need to do, is to be good to hear His word.



So renew your mind, and start here onward.

weather or not.

it's getting harder to breathe nowadays.

be it work,

education,

family,

friends,

church,

relationships,

or

self.

it's all fading white,
moments of flashing sight.

pupil dilates,
ear-drums dynamics.

like Goliath fell onto the ground,
forehead spinning ever around.

last shutters of eyelids,
low pitch call-outs echoed in.

then

by the drop of the curtains,
would it be a new term or a U-turn?


that will depend all in the will...wouldn't it?